Knitting, resting

Let me tell you a long story, short: I'm tired.  Tired like a week signed off work and finally, with some relief, giving in to the fatigue that's been chasing me for the last 6 weeks or so. Tired like going to bed early, getting up late, giving the children a long rein while I watch as inanimately as possible - while waiting for blood test results to tell me what it's all about.

Craft mojo killer, of course. But also, I'm just fed up with it and, when I'm not sleeping, bored.  So I'm therefore very glad that when this really hit, I was in the middle of a big, simple and repetitive knitting project. I haven't been able to face much screen time, any sewing, hardly even book reading, or anything else much, but sitting still and knitting this is still do-able.

It's a completely brainless, 9-skein long scarf, knit in seed/moss stitch and nothing else - just knit one, purl one with an empty mind. Exactly what I need right now, those times that I need to have myself occupied with something. It's short bursts, a row or two at a time, but the feeling of being productive in even this small way is, I think, preventing me from becoming depressed on top of it all.

All kind of serendipitous, because when I cast on and realised the huge expanse of repetition ahead of me, I was filled with dread. But 6 skeins in, it's exactly what the doctor ordered.  By now there's enough of it to drape over myself while carrying on, and it's the softest, warmest merino I've yet come across. Which all helps.

As you can see on the labels, it's from Purl Soho - the worsted twist seed stitch wrap, to be precise. Now I kind of feel I have a post in itself to write about the need (real or imagined) to make excuses and give explanations for the cost of things like this. In fact I often feel that way about fabric and craft supplies in general, especially in 'real life'. That unspoken question about the stashes we have and the splurges we make - is sewing just a hobby for the moneyed middle class? Like I said, a whole post in itself, and to be very honest I feel awkward even mentioning it (one of my, yes, middle class taboos!). My brain isn't in the right place to go there right now, I'm afraid - for now, all I really mean to say is: I feel the need to present my excuse for an expensive knitting kit from New York, which is that it was a congratulatory present to myself for finally paying off my student loans. And it cost less than the monthly payment had been, so after months of humming and hawing I rationaled that all out to myself, shut my eyes and ordered it. When my head's back where it should be, I'll see if I can do some better thinking about the bigger issues... and if you know of any good blog posts already out there on the matter, let me know!

So anwyay, moving on. Of course, knitting being joyously portable but this wrap being MASSIVE, I needed a bigger knitting bag. So a few weeks ago, this got sewn:

Like my previous knitting bag, it's a Noodlehead open wide pouch. I sized up the largest version by about 1.5 and added some straps. The wooden plank fabric is from Ikea - I got way too much because I love it, and now can't think what to do with the leftovers, but never mind.

And that's about all for now, folks. After a couple of days off and resting intensively, I woke up today feeling a bit better - but rested is not equal to re-energised, and this is more than enough time in front of a screen for now. Whatever the outcome of this week's tests and rest, I suspect I will also need to do some proper thinking about the sleep habits and time management techniques that have served me well thus far. Perhaps they're just beginning to fail me, for whatever reason, and I don't want my sewing to be the main long-term casualty. So if nothing else comes of this whole enforced down-time, there might at least be some mindful decisions about how to best use and conserve my energy.

Plus, a luxurious new knitted scarf :-)